The Company is Not Your Family

(But That Doesn’t Mean You Stop Being Human)

The company is not your family.

It feels cynical at first. Cold, even. Especially when you’re new to the workforce, full of hope, excited to build meaningful relationships, and hungry to do good work.

You walk into a shiny new office. There are friendly faces, coffee runs, team lunches, and warm camaraderie. A buzzing Slack and lots of emojis for your big feelings.

It feels like a new beginning. Like the kind of place where everyone has your back.

But eventually, most of us learn that while work can be fulfilling, it is still work. It’s not your home, and it’s not your family.

When You Give More Than You Get

In my experience, overextending often came disguised as commitment. I’ve given too much of my time, shared ideas too freely, and taken on more than I should in hopes of achieving more.

I’ve stretched myself thin, gone the extra mile for somebody else, spoken up for others in meetings, and assumed that this kind of emotional and intellectual labor would always be reciprocated.

Sometimes it was. Sometimes it wasn’t.

Would I do it again? Not in the same way. But who I am as a person won’t change.

Because intention means nothing if the environment doesn’t value it.

Ask for What You Deserve

One of the hardest lessons to learn in the workplace is that no one is going to hand you what you haven’t asked for.

You might assume that going the extra mile, taking initiative, or being consistently dependable will automatically be noticed. But if your contributions are invisible or unspoken, they are very easy to overlook.

Asking for what you deserve is not arrogance. It’s self-awareness. It’s also how you create clarity, for yourself and your team.

Learning to say, “I led this,” or “I’d like to own this next time,” isn’t boasting. It’s advocating. And if you don’t do it, no one else will.

Hard work isn’t always visible. If your contribution isn’t voiced, it’s easy to overlook.

This becomes harder in today’s climate. With AI automating tasks and employers tightening budgets, it’s easy to doubt your value. One wrong word can feel like a risk.

And for women, this hesitation often runs deeper. Many of us have been conditioned to downplay our work, avoid negotiation, and fear being labelled difficult for simply stating what we’ve earned.

Meanwhile, others speak up more freely, even when the work isn’t complete. This is not about talent. It’s about what we’ve been taught to do.

Knowing this makes self-advocacy even more urgent. Your work matters. But your voice matters just as much.

Believe in Your Strengths, But Also be Open to Learning

It’s possible to be confident and still have room to grow. These two things are not mutually exclusive.

I’ve found that some of the most pivotal growth moments in my career came after receiving difficult but honest feedback. It’s not always easy to hear. But being able to process feedback, even when it stings, is a mark of maturity.

You don’t need to accept every piece of input blindly. But you do need to stay open to learning. Professional growth can sometimes look like how you handle a rewrite. Or how you step up after hearing no.

Growth is Not a Solo Climb

There may not be space for two people to climb the same ladder together. But most of us aren’t even on the same ladder to begin with.

We come from different starting points. Different privileges. Different support systems. And what works for someone else might not work for you.

That doesn’t mean you stop trying. It means you stop comparing.

You can be ambitious and still be kind. You can be focused without cutting others down.

Because a leaf doesn’t grow in isolation, the whole tree has to grow with it.

If your idea of success isolates you from others, then it’s worth asking whether it’s really success at all.

Build Real Connections, Without Confusing Roles

Some of the best work you’ll ever do will come from teams where people feel safe, seen, and respected.

Building close working relationships makes the process more human. And it’s important — collaboration becomes easier, and ideas flow more freely.

But your colleagues are still people, just like you, with lives and identities beyond their work roles. Just because you feel close to someone at work doesn’t mean they owe you anything beyond professionalism and mutual respect.

And that’s okay.

Having strong bonds at work is great. But having strong boundaries is even better.

Work-Life Balance Means Emotional Boundaries Too

Work-life balance isn’t just about turning off notifications after work or logging off on weekends.

It’s about knowing when to switch off the “work version” of yourself.

Who are you when you’re not writing strategy decks or attending stand-ups? What occupies your thoughts when you’re not updating your calendar or checking Slack threads?

If your entire self-worth is wrapped up in how well you’re performing at work, then work will always have more power over you than it should.

How to draw these boundaries?

• Make time for hobbies that aren’t about work. Read, walk, cook, play. Do it for yourself, not your resume.
• Don’t tie feedback to self-worth. A comment on your work is not a comment on you. Learn and move on.
• Talk about life beyond work. Not every conversation needs to be about deadlines and deliverables.
• Stop performing for LinkedIn. Not every thought needs to be a post. You are allowed to just be.

Burnout doesn’t always look like exhaustion. Sometimes, it looks like not knowing who you are outside your job.

Do the work. Show up with intent and take pride in what you build.

But make sure it’s building you too.